10 Years Late: The best thing that happened to me in 2017..

..or in a very long time, rather, is stumbling upon this awesome series called "Chuck."

photo source: schmoesknow.com

I fall in love with movies and I still find the fact that films can make one individual relate and be drawn to characters in a span of two and a half hours (on the average) magical. Logically, tv series could do it easier than films because a viewer would be spending more than 2.5 hours with the story and its characters. And I had actually experienced that with a tv series once, more than a decade ago, when a show entitled "Jack & Bobby" was shown in a local tv network.

photo source: gstatic.com

However, after discovering that this magnificent show about the teenage years of two brothers - one of whom will be the future president of the United States - got cancelled after the first season, I realized that the things that draw me to a tv series may not be what a successful one is made of.

Fast forward to May 2017 (when the only series I have followed so far since Jack and Bobby was Game of Thrones), I was watching The Head and The Heart's Rivers and Roads Video on YouTube. The band is of the country folk genre, and their music is so enthralling with lyrics that speak deep to your mind, your heart and your soul (perhaps which is why they are aptly called The Head and The Heart). I was browsing through the comments section when I noticed that almost all of the comments says "Chuck brought me here." I then recalled hearing about a series with the same title way back in college (read: 6 or more years ago), and I could remember people getting excited over it. So I searched for the show online and was able to find a site where I could watch the first episode. It was one morning of May 2017, and I was on board a delayed flight from Cebu to Manila when I decided to watch the first episode of Chuck, which aired in the U.S. in 2007. My memory of the day I was introduced to the world of Mr. Charles Irving "Chuck" Bartowski, Sarah Walker, Morgan Grimes and the whole gang - and Buy More - is very clear. I don't think I will ever forget it. But, unlike others, Rivers and Roads brought me to Chuck.

What makes Chuck special? I couldn't actually tell what sets it apart from the other series as I only have two (and an episode or two of) other series to compare it with, but what I can attest to is that Chuck is a show that is full of heart. It is basically a love story inside an action-packed setting of the spy world. The beauty of the show lies in how a viewer could effortlessly relate to the characters, or on how it could pull a viewer's strings of emotions and make a him/her empathize with what a character feels. One can easily see himself in the ordinary nerd that Chuck is who continually raises similar questions that a person his age would ask. Or one is invited to become a part of the beautiful relationships in the show: the heartwarming sibling love between Chuck and Ellie, the unbeatable bond of Chuck and Morgan, or the honest and genuine love Chuck and Sarah have for each other amid a world of pretension and lies. Its beautiful storytelling, supported by the impeccably-selected background songs in almost every scene, always hits home, to the point that I had to choose between sleep and Chuck. And I must admit there were nights I fought with myself to choose sleep.

Six months later, my journey with Chuck ended when I finally decided to finish the fourth and fifth seasons of Chuck last October. It was a bittersweet feeling - watching the final scene and knowing that what comes next in the stories of Chuck and Sarah and the gang will be pure imagination until a new episode or movie arrives. But it has been 5 years since the last episode of this wonderful series, and while I feel fortunate that I was introduced to Chuck, I fervidly want more people to get a taste of this series and perhaps experience all the emotions I felt following this story, and create the same deep, personal attachment I consider among the best things that happened to me in a very long time.

Indeed, it was a personal journey with Chuck and Sarah and John Casey and Morgan and Ellie and the whole "Buy More" gang. It was like being a part of a fictional family with characters, story, words, and music harmoniously touching my soul every episode. It may sound like a cliche, but this is one of those stages in your life you could certainly say "I'm just happy it happened."

A lot of great things happened to me this year, but definitely on top of that list is stumbling upon this series, and knowing that I will be forever a fan of Chuck, and that it will be forever a part of me.

Conviction of the Unseen

"Long ago, but not so very long ago / The world was different, oh yes it was," as Randy Newman's song "Our Town" from the movie "Cars" begins. Since I stumbled upon this song hours ago, this line has decided to reverberate in my mind. It couldn't be truer than now for me.

There are times I couldn't help but remember the past, and feel the emotions that came with reminiscing. I wanted so bad to go back to comfort my old self, who was in dire need of someone to draw strength from; to tell myself to not worry, to not fear, to not be sad, for he was never alone, especially during the times he felt like he was..and wanted to give up; to console him and assure him that everything will be alright; to make him realize God has never left his side. I knew I needed to apologize.

"I am sorry." I know I could no longer tell this to my old self. What I could do, though, is tell this to myself now. And so, I am sorry.

Looking back, I get overwhelmed with all the changes that have occurred so definitely, much like an execution of a meticulous plan, which is now in that stage when the promised 'someday' in the phrase 'someday it's gonna make sense' is slowly being revealed. Lord, please know that my heart is filled with gratitude. 

And I know you have plans for me - and for all of us, your children - that only You know. The roads ahead are daunting, but, this time, I'll face them right: without fear, not lonely, with conviction, full of hope, and, most of all, faithful, for I know that in all I do, in all I will face, you, Lord God, are my shepherd and you will give me strength.

Changes are bound to happen. In 2 weeks, I will move to Cebu for a work assignment, which means I shall bid goodbye to the kind of work life I have known the past 2 years handling Robinsons, and I shall get used to living at a distance from my family and friends. With only a single life to live, I promise myself to welcome these changes with open arms, with conviction of the things unknown and unseen, because, more than ever, now I am certain that not only am I not alone, but also the Lord God is with me, as He is with every one of us whom He loves unfailingly.

"For we live by faith, not by sight." (2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV)

Living with Time

I have been living in this world for 24 years now. It's wonderful and surprising how the years have gone by and funny how I can clearly recall those I can recall and realize that it's been years since they happened or since I have experienced them. Almost unbelievable.

To say that 'Time flies so fast' is an understatement. Perhaps, to say that 'Time teleports' is the more appropriate way of putting it. Because, truly, you'll never realize that it passed by until you notice that it's gone. Then again, it's primarily because we assumed the presence of Time from the beginning. They say that no one or nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. That's valid simply because Time is a disqualified runner in the race. Why? Because no one can determine the speed at which Time is traveling. It's undefined.

Which makes me think: We say that Time flies fast when we're having fun, and walks slow when we're in pain. But how do we say so? How do we measure the rate at which Time is moving? As far as my knowledge in Physics is concerned, speed is the distance covered per unit of Time. Yes, Time is assumed to be constant in the scientific scheme of things. It is incomprehensible to perceive Time as a moving entity that covers some units of distance, and measure it against an assumed fixed unit of itself, at least for now (of course, welcome is the genius who will disprove the concepts we have come to accept as facts).

And so our claims of Time flying fast or slow is scientifically invalid. Yet we continue to cling to that thought whenever the past becomes the unwilling target of our bullying mind (just imagine how cluttered that mind is). In any case, that is why it is called an idiom - it is not to be taken literally.

But why is it that whenever we suddenly decide to remember the past--regardless of the trigger--we put the accountability on Time? That it flies fast-- something we are either grateful for or melancholic about. Perhaps if only Time could speak, he/she/it would tell us this:

"I have given you myself to live with from whatever you consider your start was. I was not chasing after you that you needed to maintain a tiring pace to remain sane, nor was I driving slow in front of you that you needed to clench your fist, bite your lips or free out expletives, still, to remain sane. I was living with you, and you know it. But however hard I try to make you notice, you fail to recognize it. I was just with you in all you've been through. I may not have felt deeply what you felt, or seen exactly what you saw, I was just there when it happened. All I wanted you to realize is that you are living with me. And I hope whenever your mind will pick out a memory and you suddenly realize that 'Time flies fast,' remember that it was not, in any way, fast. It may be buried very deep in your pile of memories, but that doesn't mean those in between happened in a blink. In the same way that when you think your waiting is too long--it actually isn't. And once you acknowledge that I live with you and that you live with me, whenever you remember the past, you will not long for it; whenever you think of the future, you will not rush for it. You decide on how much of me is deserved by a point in your life. And the latter ends as soon as you want it to, and begins as soon as you want it to. You may not know it, but you do--you are living with me."

I am one guilty of blaming it to Time even when I was there when everything happened. So, as I enter the 25th year (and the rest) of my life, I recognize that I am living with Time. And more than just the acknowledgement, I will do live with Time, such that when I turn 48, and recall that when I was 24 I wrote about living with Time, I will be able to say that "yes, it has been 24 years. And, though I may not clearly remember all those years, I know they went somewhere, and yes, I believe it has been 24 years."

The World I Knew

The world I knew is very different from the real world. But I grew in it. I lived in it. And it seemed very real to me. No - it was real to me.

The world I knew is true. It was as honest as it could be. But it wasn't the real world. And from being the world I know, it slowly became the world I knew. And it wasn't easy. It wasn't fair.

The world I knew could be the world someone else knows right now. And I want to pat him on the back, and hope the impact will echo until the day comes he realizes how his truths are but proud lies lying. And may he be reminded of it, whenever he would feel betrayed.

The world I knew is my solace. And I know wherever I may be, I would always find in it my peace, and the most wondrous memories I would ever have.

The world I knew is a world that's getting smaller day by day. I know I will wake up one day, and I no longer live in it. Rather, it in me. It may shrink further but it will never vanish. It will never disappear. It will stay in me forever, as how I thought, several times in my life, that I would in it.
 

#PrayForThePhilippines

Lord,

Once more, our country is in dire need of your utmost guidance and mercy. Please spare the innocent lives of my countrymen the scorn of this calamity. And may all of us grip firmly on to our faith as we face another battle aimed to strengthen us.

Thy will be done, Lord.

Amen.

Prayer to Live

Moments like these.. I wish I could just disappear. I wish I could just turn back the hands of time. I know I should be thankful for the mere fact that I am alive. But it's just that, moments like these make me realize how difficult it is.. to live.

What if I was born a different person? with a different nationality? from a different background? with a different language? with different dreams? Would I be happier?

I recently met a man who came face to face with death. He could have died with the gun shots, but no bullet came out. He was saved by God. I know I, too, am loved and blessed by God. I may have not yet come face to face with death, but I understand that God saves and will save me. Perhaps, it is this faith in the Lord that gives me the persistence to fight for my dream, despite the pitfall that everyone sees of its becoming a reality. But we are human beings. We think. We protect. We fear.

It is hard but I pray to God for guidance and for the strength to live each new day He continues to give me. And I pray He will not give up until I finally learn and am able to live the life He so wonderfully granted me, not just for myself.

I love you Lord. Amen.

Opening a Clenched Fist

It took me a long time to open a clenched fist. But when I finally did, I felt the warmth of the air passing through the spaces between my fingers. All of a sudden, I was able to touch what I see, and feel what I touch. I knew I should have opened it sooner but, by now, I am just really grateful I did.

GAP